Many people are gambling for many reasons. Some want to have fun and forget their problems while others just simply want to kill time. Of course, earn some money. Whatever the reasons are, there are many gambling jokes that create chuckles inside the playroom.
You will be surprised that while gamblers are wearing serious poker face during the game, behind the mask they are a real JOKER. Most of them can crack interesting and hilarious jokes what will make laugh till you tear out.
Gambling Jokes: What are the funny jokes about gambling?
What do you do when you are under pressure playing poker?
Do you crack a joke or you just masked yourself with a poker face?
For some gamblers, whether they are winning or losing, they manage to tell some funny jokes and casino puns to lessen up the pressure. After all, the casino ambiance is set so that we can have some fun and entertainment. That is why we collected some card jokes, casino stories, and gambling jokes from the playrooms.
Are you ready to laugh yourself out loud?
Then, embrace yourself to have some dose of fun today.
Gambling jokes and casino puns: The story of the lucky loser
Tim has used all his luck in Vegas. He already had gambled all the money in his pocket and even had to borrow a dime just to use the men’s toilet. While on his way to the comfort room, the casino door happened to be open. Therefore, he decided to used that very last dime to be on a slot machine.
How lucky he can be, for he managed to hit the jackpot.
Afterward, he took all his winnings, then, went straight to the Blackjack table. This could be his lucky day for he turned his small winnings into a 5 Million-dollar win.
This lucky loser becomes wealthy beyond his wildest dreams. Tim attends a lecture circuit to share his incredible amazing story. There, he told the audience how eternally grateful he is to his benefactor.
That if he ever found the man who made it all happen, then, he will certainly share all his fortune with him. After a few months of lectures, a man in the audience showed up to him.
“I am that man. I was the one who gave you that dime.”, he said.
However, Tim answered him:
“You’re not the one I’m looking for. I’m looking for the guy who left the door open!”
Q&A Type Casino Jokes
Here is a collection of the funniest casino and gambling jokes in “Question and Answer” style that will surely make you smile.
You probably heard some of them, while others might become your new favorite casino jokes. Whatever it is – it is all about laughing. So let’ proceed.
Q: What did the dealer say to her deck of cards?
A: I cannot deal with you anymore!
Q: What is the difference between a land-based casino and an online casino?
A: At the online casino, you can cry when you lose. Hence, no one will laugh at you!
Q: What is the difference between politicians and casino players?
A: Sometimes, casino players tell the truth.
Q: What did the rabbit say to the lion at the roulette table?
A: I am so glad you are not a cheetah.
Q: Why does gambling is banned in Africa?
A: Well, because there are too many cheetahs!
Q: What is the difference between praying at the casino and praying at the church?
A: When you praying at the casino, you are praying with all your heart!
Q: Why does a blonde girl bring some French fries to the casino?
A: Because someone told her to bring her chips.
Q: Why do vampires do not like gambling?
A: Because they get nervous whenever the stakes are raised.
Q: What’s the favorite song of a poker dealer?
A: “Every day I’m shuffling.”
Q: Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker?
A: Because they always fold.
Poker jokes and casino puns
Jeff was a little too shy at the poker table. He did not want to show his hand just yet.
Why does Santa Clause a super easy opponent? Because he is always checking it twice.
The tiger was super mad when he lost at poker last night. He even said that this is going to be the last time he will play with a cheetah.
Why do dogs would be a bad poker players? Because they will definitely wag their tails when getting good cards.
What do you call a professional poker player who broke up with his girlfriend? –Homeless.
At the casino, everyone said that Cody would be a wonderful maid. Why? Because all he does is fold!
Hilarious Gambling Jokes and Card Jokes
These collections of card jokes will surely paint a smirk on your face a little bit. As some of these gambling jokes are really ridiculous. Nonetheless, we write this article so that we can all enjoy it, right? Have some fun reading!
Why do pirates cannot play cards? Simply because they are always standing on the deck!
What has thirteen hearts but no other organs? A deck of playing cards!
How do the Eskimos make their house of cards? Igloos it together! (Read as “It glues it”)
What is the sign that you might have suffered from poker addiction? The name of your children are Check and Raise.
In a casino, your best chance of getting a Royal Flush is in the bathroom.
They say that marriage is like a deck of playing cards. At first, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. But in the end, you wish you had a club and spade instead.
How does the queen catch gambling? When she had a Royal Flush.
Gambling thought me how to get back on my feet. How? Because I lost my car in poker last night.
Cheesy one-liners casino gambling jokes
Are you getting a dose of fun today? Why not add some cheesy casino jokes to your diet? We have gathered some of the ridiculous cheesy one-liners and funny gambling jokes. Hope you are having fun reading!
A woman who wears anklets has a gam-bling addiction.
I predict that China’s currency will depreciate soon. Yuan bet?
Have you ever heard about the sarcastic gambler? Yeah, he was a real eye-roller!
I’ve always been wondering – Does a glassmaker with a gambling problem suffer from win-dough pain?
Amazing I just saw my dog playing poker, so I yelled at it, “Eu-cre!”
Last night, I lost money betting with one of the big cats at the zoo. I think he was a cheetah.
The butcher once said, “I cannot take that bet, the steaks are too high.”
I was asked to leave the casino premises last night. They said that I had a chip on my shoulder.
Hilarious horse racing puns and funny betting jokes
Indeed, a dog is truly a man’s best friend. Most especially after losing all your money on a horse.
What happens when a man with money meets a man with experience? The man with money leaves with experience. While the man with experience leaves with the money.
How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Simple, you start with a large fortune.
Why most gamblers married in Vegas? Because marriage is a gamble.
Wrap-up: Gambling jokes and casino puns
Did you get your daily dose of casino puns? We hope that you had a good laugh with our collection of all-time favorite gambling jokes today. If you have some jokes about gambling, feel free to contact us so we can add yours to our list.